It’s no secret that I’ve been on a quest for more than a hot minute and in an effort to discover myself, I’ve been on the hunt to identify what my true talents and passions actually are. My awareness about what I strongly appreciate is readily apparent to me and there are things I come across in my lifestyle hustle & flow that let me know exactly what type of cat I dream and dare to be. At this point in my journey, it’s clear that my single-most salient passion is simply to create — and that’s my biggest trip about the whole scenario.
I know exactly the types of creations I want to mastermind in the different spheres I exist — new media, Comics, videogaming, social networks, and even in the realm of my faith. Doubt has been a cold mistress for a long time for me — questioning whether or not I have the talent to get down the way I want to create within those spheres. It’s an ego-trip that I’ve suffered from and fought since I was a youngblood. In the end, and in spite of the self-inflicted mental blocks I’ve placed in my own path, I’ve been fortunate enough to steal inches of success in each of these realms…
TRUTH? That’s not enough for me. It’s not enough to get a taste of being able to create (possibly through sheer dumb luck?!?); what matters is that I’m uncomfortable creating — when I need to be more than comfortable. Case in point, I just spent an hour going through the process of migrating this blog from Moveable Type to Wordpress (this change is not reflected on the face, but, there is a wordpress duplicate of this blog actually live, but on the down low). Once the migration was completed, I started lookin’ for templates to hack (because I’m visual, and site design matters ALOT to me). Dilemma:
- No existing template designs satisfy me.
- I already have a significant issue with the blog as the end all portal.
- Why do I need to rock blogware when what I really want is an exstensive framework?
- My skillset for graphic design is based on luck and my coding skills are ok.
I’ve been inspired by a number of designers I’ve never met who have some solid blog implementations and custom frameworks as well. Cats like Khoi Vinh, Jeff Croft, Bryan Veloso, and Veerle Pieters. I try to steal inspiration and fall short due to lack of talent in the creation hustle related to this particular area. So much to learn…TRUTH? The weight of my passion is crushin’ me like Big Pun right now.
- I know that I want a portal, and not just a blog.
- I know that I want the blog to be content rich and visually a knockout.
- I know that I don’t have comfort in the necessary skillset to start/finish this they way I want to get down.
- Everything I know about this scenario prevents me from taking a step forward — for fear of failure.
What are some of you cats out there doing to overcome these types of show-stoppers?!? Consider that if your passion is to create, and your skillset is currently limited, do you simply appeal to the exports to do all the work for you and miss out on the fulfillment of the creative process? Or, do you hammer down, and fight for every inch until you’ve developed what it takes to mastermind the creation the way you’ve envisioned it?
You are going to hate this but “it depends.”
When I wanted to redo my blog I knew what I wanted it to look like and I knew that if I rocked out in Photoshop long enough I could get it that point, but I had too much else going on so I found someone to help me and in return I could focus on the content while the other piece was put together.
I use to struggle to always learn everything myself, but I’ve learned that I can’t and never will. I had to teach myself that sometimes you have to let other people do it. I still want to learn enough to know what I’m talking about and be familiar with it, but I don’t need to know all the nitty gritty under the covers stuff. That’s just me.
I’m sure that there is someone out there who could help take what is in your head and put it on the screen. Trick is finding that person.
You’re gonna hate my answer to this. Unless you’re a paid designer, it’s the message. It’s all about the message. You want to be a portal? Make this the place hot new designers (and pick a niche, dammit- urban? rockstar? WTF do I care) come to break out wild shite. Want to see an example?
http://aniboom.com
That’s run by Uri Shinar, who’s this TV *god* in Israel, but who figured out that there were lots of young animators out there, so he gave them a home.
Platforms are about tools and giving people access to something bigger than your own vision. It’s about enabling people to work with YOUR vision and move it forward.
Here’s a trick: upload a Flickr snap of one of your drawings and get people to mix it up. Encourage others to submit stuff to mix it up. Find other passionate designer types and mix them up.
Platforms are passion engines. You can make this that, but it won’t be a background and a shiny button. It’ll be YOU.
specific comment on this platform, portal thing, look into Django. there’s a great post on all this over at
http://avalonstar.com/blog/2007/may/04/my-reasons-for-django/
more to the point. stop it!
we have a lot in common, and I see many of my frustrations expressed in your words, so this may come off a little harsh but it’s only because i’m saying it as much for me as for you.
Listen to these other cats. You do not and should not do everything. There is to much to do, and you’ll go mad trying.
Even people who look like they do everything themselves do not. Everybody has help or they don’t do much at all.
Your thing is being multi-dimensional and creative and expressive, but you don’t need to build, own and operate the entire frigging infrastructure before getting to the creative part.
Just start creating. Stop talking about it. Stop planning for it. Stop drafting wireframes and frameworks and outlines and researching platforms and hunting down templates.
Get to the substance. You have something to say? Say it, and worry about making it pretty later.
You’re in a dangerous place because you may feel that the presentation is inseparable from the substance, that the envelope influences the message. This thinking is mostly wrong because it’s a crutch. It’s a distraction. At worst, it’s destructive.
In all the time you spend researching and coding the perfect design template, how many podcasts could you have released? How many blog posts written? How many photos shot and edited?
The all encompassing uber-brand and meta-life structure is the output. It is the RESULT of creativity, not the driver. it HAPPENS.
You’re working from the wrong end.
I’m not saying to completely ignore the aesthetic and set up a 1994 geocities website, but what you describe here is a man paralyzed, but whose paralysis is self-inflicted.
UN-inflict yourself.
Consider all this a work in progress. This is all a draft, and you’re not sure where it will all lead, but in obsessing over the final product, you are not building ANYthing.
The ideas others have about getting folks to help you is spot on, but if no one shows up, so what.
Ok, that’s the main thing. Stop your whining and create some ish already.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to create a new Linux distribution optimized for my particular needs. FreeBSD just isn’t the best for hosting static HTML pages :)
…what Baratunde said, darling. You can create, just glue yourself to the chair and start. i love you!
Dag, ya’ll are spittin’ the TRUTH and I definitely appreciate the candor expressed here. You all touched on specific points that resonate with me:
C.C.: …don’t try to do it all myself…rally my camp around me…
Brogan: …present content that strengthens community…
Baratunde: …I feel you, bruh. Content is still king…more content — less planning…
BTW — I want a dvd of this new Linux distribution — and I need the framework to support optimizing it for my needs as well :)
A long time ago - meaning the 1990s - there was an author, J. Michael Straczynski, who wrote a series of four BIG questions. The big four, as it were, and he posited that they MUST be answered in order, else you experience very unhappy returns.
1. Who are you?
2. What do you want?
3. Why are you here?
4. Where are you going?
If you’re shopping for templates before you know what you want, before you know why you’re doing what you’re doing, and most important of all, before you know WHO you are, you’re going to not be happy with the results no matter what. It’d be like going to a map store and trying to decide which map to buy before you know where you’re going and how you’re going to get there.
If you took away everything material that you had - brands, clothes, shoes, gear, house, the computer you’re reading this on, even your name, who would you be? Would you define you by who you are or who you are not? Or both? A name is something assigned to you, a way for others to define you. Titles simply clarify a role you play in an organization - yours or others.
Who are you?
Once you know who you are, then and only then should you decide what you want.
sup bro - my answer to this is both 1) too long to post here and 2) more of an interactive showing you what i’ve been working on… i myself have been in the same space as you, and only recently broken through this barrier…
my short answer (in my worldview): it is BOTH the message AND the medium… and in my dual world of being artist/designer + hacker/programmer i have found that usually the form follows the function; in more concrete terms in this example is that the medium/form will follow as the content/function is defined and filled out.
i suspect it is not a black-or-white binary answer here; specifically you may be running into the barrier set by external forces by not having an adequate form for your expressions, and simultaneously running into the barrier set by internal forces (ego) by not moving as quickly by not having the former. it can be a rut that i’ve often been stuck in; the ego saying, well i don’t have the perfect platform, so i can’t speak my TRUTH; when in fact when one speaks the TRUTH with all conviction and clarity, the perfect platform emerges…
something like that, or it could just be the drugs talking
anyway, looking forward to rappin with you this week live and in person- we can hit this up more as it is my current topic-of-choice… well, that and beats.
peace…
(for the techies, my perfect platform, soon to be launched in the upcoming weeks on a completely new kiddphunk.com is a combination of django + flex, something i have christened ‘flango’ - http://galactivision.wordpress.com/)